Marriage
I remember when Mark and Sarah (not their real names) walked into my office, their shoulders heavy with 23 years of unresolved conflicts. They sat on opposite ends of my couch—a physical representation of the emotional distance between them. “Why now?” I asked gently. “What made you decide to come in after all these years?” […]
The Silent Relationship Killer I learned my most profound lesson about assumptions not in my therapy office, but in a quiet university classroom twenty years ago. It’s a story that still feels shameful when I think about it, but one that fundamentally changed how I view human nature and relationships. I was a teaching assistant […]
Many couples wonder why their marriage never improves. A pivotal reason why is because of one toxic pattern that is destroying millions of relationships today. Triangulation. What is triangulation? Triangulation is when a two-person problem turns into a three-person power play. It occurs when one partner, typically struggling with emotional immaturity and poor communication skills, […]
My friend decided to end her marriage on Valentine’s Day. As she sat across from her husband at their usual February 14th dinner, surrounded by roses and chocolate, she knew it would be their last celebration together. The grand gesture felt hollow, almost painful. Because in the 364 days between these annual displays of affection, […]
Last week, in the pouring rain, I witnessed something that shook me to my core. Through the darkness, a crowd gathered around a fallen motorcycle. As I approached, I saw her – an Asian woman, her leg pinned beneath her bike. What struck me wasn’t just the accident, but what happened next. As people rushed […]
Starting with What Matters Most I’m reminded of a powerful story that perfectly captures how to approach the new year. A professor brought an empty jar to his class and placed it on his desk alongside three items: sand, pebbles, and large rocks. He asked his students to fill the jar with all three items. […]
This topic always lands me in hot water, but frankly, I don’t care – because it’s one of the most common issues couples come to me for, especially during the holidays. I’m talking about the mental load, that invisible backpack of responsibilities that’s often silently crushing the holiday spirit of one partner while the other […]
Is It Possible? There’s a question that I keep getting asked over the decades when helping couples. It is one of the most challenging and loaded questions. It’s also a question that is tender to me because it reminds me of one of the main reasons why my parents’ marriage failed… How do I move […]
Transforming Past Hurts Into Secure Connections Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons, sometimes through the most unexpected – and occasionally unpleasant – experiences. Here’s mine… Believe it or not, I’ve had the dubious honour of being pooped on my head by a bird twice in my lifetime. Once this week, and once […]
And transform your bonds There’s a saying in couples therapy that “we marry our unfinished business.” It is absolutely true. In my 26 years of working with couples, I have seen this repeatedly, without exception. What do I mean by this? I see couples who repeat relationship patterns, communication challenges, and conflict styles. The interesting […]
There’s a saying in couples therapy that “we marry our unfinished business.” It is absolutely true. In my 26 years of working with couples, I have seen this repeatedly, without exception. What do I mean by this? I see couples who repeat relationship patterns, communication challenges, and conflict styles. The interesting thing is, this is […]
Why Gossip Kills Connection and How to Build Real Bonds In my 26 years as a relationship expert, I’ve witnessed countless attempts at connection. But recently, a scene in a local café crystallized a truth I’ve long observed: sometimes, our efforts to bond can actually push us further apart. Picture this: four new moms, babies […]
