Self Development
In almost three decades of counselling people, I’ve noticed something. Life has patterns. Predictable ones. Some are obvious. We leave home. We fall in love. We get the job. We get married. A baby comes and rearranges everything. The kids grow up, get loud, then quiet, then gone. Our parents get older, then get sick, […]
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. And thinking about it takes me back to the time when I worked as a therapist in the San Francisco Bay Area. The clinic I worked at was 15 minutes from Stanford University. So naturally, many of my clients were Stanford students. On paper, these students had everything a […]
The World Cup is here. And this year, some of the games are happening right in my backyard, here in Canada. The whole country is buzzing. Last week, my son Tristan made plans to watch Portugal play Croatia with his buddies at a live watch party in Vancouver. One of his friends, Joey, has Portuguese […]
There’s a particular ache I think we all know — the moment when life refuses to go the way we wanted it to. The relationship ends. The door closes. The thing we were sure was meant for us slips through our fingers, and we’re left certain that something has gone wrong. I’ve felt it more […]
Here’s a question almost every therapist asks. “How do you feel?” There’s a reason we lead with it. Not because we’re stuck for something else to say, but because of this. Most of us, myself included, did not grow up in families where emotions were acknowledged, never mind explored. And if we did show them, […]
Over the years, I have sat with thousands of clients in my office. Different ages. Different stories. Different struggles. Same quiet ache. Sometimes it shows up as complaining about others. Sometimes it sounds like, Nobody appreciates anything I do. Other times, it is the feeling of being taken for granted. Like we are a function, […]
Today is Mother’s Day in North America. And I want to reflect on what this day means to me, and perhaps to others. I think about my relationship with my mother, and it’s…complex. On one hand, I celebrate the mother I have. She sacrificed her whole life for her kids. She gave constantly. She never […]
I was reminded of an incident during childhood this week. I was twelve years old, sitting at the kitchen table. My mom was upset about something I did, and she started yelling at me. “Why did you do that? What’s wrong with you? Why are you so stupid!” I don’t even remember what I’d done. […]
After working with thousands of couples and individuals over the years, I’ve noticed something. Most people who have been through multiple relationships or marriages — almost always share the same thread. Different partners. Different circumstances. Different decades. But the same emotional experience, playing out again and again. Here’s an example. Let’s call him “James”. James […]
Every December, I do the same thing. I sit down in a quiet place, pour myself a cup of tea, and ask: What were the highs and lows of this year? It’s a ritual I started years ago, and every single time, the pattern is the same. The highs? They’re never about the big achievements […]
Think back to your favorite moments of 2025. Was it a vacation with the family? A quiet Sunday morning with the kids? A milestone celebration with friends? Notice the moments that mattered the most—the ones you’ll remember in ten years—they all involved the people you love. And yet. When January rolled around this year, you […]
You know that feeling when you’re convinced you’re the only one who struggles the way you do? The shame that whispers your childhood wounds are too messy, your relationship patterns too broken, your emotional reactions too intense. That if people really knew your story, they’d see you as damaged goods. Here’s what I’ve discovered after […]
