Starting with What Matters Most
I’m reminded of a powerful story that perfectly captures how to approach the new year.
A professor brought an empty jar to his class and placed it on his desk alongside three items: sand, pebbles, and large rocks. He asked his students to fill the jar with all three items.
Eager to succeed, the students started with the fine sand, watching it settle at the bottom. Next, they added the pebbles, which filled the space above the sand. But when they tried to add the large rocks there wasn’t enough room. No matter how they tried, the big rocks wouldn’t fit.
The professor nodded knowingly, emptied the jar, and began again. This time, he started with the big rocks, carefully placing them in first. Then came the pebbles, which filled the spaces between the rocks. Finally, he poured in the sand, which seeped into every remaining crevice. Everything fit perfectly.
The lesson was clear: if we don’t put our big rocks —our major life priorities— in first, we’ll never fit them in at all.
We often pack our days—and our years—with countless small tasks and minor goals, leaving no space for what truly matters. We create elaborate New Year’s resolutions lists, only to feel overwhelmed and discouraged by February.
That’s why I’m inviting you to approach 2025 differently. Instead of a lengthy resolution list, start with your “big rocks”. Here are my three big rocks that will shape everything else I do this year:
1. Making Time for Myself
This isn’t just about self-care; it’s about self-discovery and growth. As someone who helps others navigate their relationships, I’ve learned that our relationship with ourselves directly reflects the quality of our connections. This means I have to take care of myself, so I can be the best version of myself for others. To me, it looks like eating clean, exercising several times a week, maintaining a healthy sleep schedule, and nurturing myself with relaxing activities that nourish my soul (reading a good book while sipping my green tea).
2. Making Time for Relationships
Our connections with others are the true measure of a life well-lived. This year, I’m committed to deepening my important relationships and creating space for authentic connections. More specifically, I will create a nurturing home environment that radiates love and peace, go on weekly date nights, spend 1:1 time with each of my kids, and share monthly meals with our closest friends.
3. Making Time for Travel
Travel isn’t just about visiting new places; it’s about expanding my perspective, discovering the world, and creating new adventures that become part of my core memory. I’ve already booked four shorter getaways with my husband and two vacations with the family. Maybe I can sneak in a few more.
Everything else—career goals, daily tasks, social commitments—flows around these priorities. Like the pebbles and sand in our jar, they fill the spaces between our big rocks, creating a rich and fulfilling life without overwhelming what matters most.
Now, I’d love to hear about your “big rocks” for 2025. What are the three non-negotiable priorities that will shape your year? What truly matters to you, beyond the typical resolutions and to-do lists?
Email me your thoughts—I read every single message, and your story matters to me. Let’s make 2025 a year of intentional living, meaningful connections, and profound growth.
