Family of Origin
What impact does an emotionally distant and physically absent father have on daughters? Last week, I shared my reflections about its impact on sons. Today, I want to speak about its effect on daughters. (Men, if you have daughters, this one is for you too.) My own story begins with a little girl […]
Today is my father’s 80th birthday. So it got me thinking about my years growing up with him. Our relationship has always been cordial, but distant. My childhood memories are filled with an emotionally distant father who only showed one emotion…anger. I remember having silent dinners while he read the newspaper, and […]
Are you a negative person and not know it? Growing up, I always felt a knot in my stomach before talking to my parents. Don’t get me wrong – I loved them and think they did the best they could, but there was something about our communication when I was a kid that left me […]
Reflections on Canadian Thanksgiving Day Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day in Canada, where I live. I find myself reflecting on the profound journey that has brought me to this moment of gratitude. There was a time in my life when I struggled to find anything to be thankful for. As a younger person, I felt adrift, […]
Owning Our Story: A Personal Reflection One of my favourite quotes is from Dr. Brené Brown: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy–the experiences that […]
Then Don’t Focus on Communication For over 26 years, every couple I’ve worked with started the first session with the same request… “We want to know how to communicate better to stop fighting and get along.” And for 26 years, I’ve been discouraging couples from solely focusing on their communication skills to end their cycle […]
Transforming Past Hurts Into Secure Connections Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons, sometimes through the most unexpected – and occasionally unpleasant – experiences. Here’s mine… Believe it or not, I’ve had the dubious honour of being pooped on my head by a bird twice in my lifetime. Once this week, and once […]
And transform your bonds There’s a saying in couples therapy that “we marry our unfinished business.” It is absolutely true. In my 26 years of working with couples, I have seen this repeatedly, without exception. What do I mean by this? I see couples who repeat relationship patterns, communication challenges, and conflict styles. The interesting […]
And Learn to Love Well I still remember growing up, often hearing from my parents, insults and judgments like, “You are a terrible kid.” “You’re good for nothing.” “You’re so stupid.” “I wish I never had you.” As a child, criticism and shame were my constant companions, guests that overstayed their welcome throughout my childhood […]
7 Powerful Strategies for Couples to Overcome Conflict & Rebuild Trust Let’s talk about something that hits close to home for so many of us – those moments when our relationships hit a rough patch. You know the ones I’m talking about, right? The silent dinners, the cold shoulders, the feeling that you and your […]
It’s Not What You Think Twenty-six years ago, I stood at the altar, blissfully unaware of the challenging yet beautiful odyssey that lay ahead. Today, as I celebrate my 26th wedding anniversary, I’m struck by how much we’ve grown – not just as a couple, but as individuals. When we first met, like many couples, we […]
And How to Break Free From Its Bondage The Ripple Effect of Patriarchy on Relationships Internalized patriarchal norms don’t just harm individual men; they create relationship dynamics that can leave both partners feeling unfulfilled. Here are some ways: Poor Communication Skills: Communication breakdowns occur when men struggle to articulate their needs or fears. Often, feelings […]
