Reflections on Canadian Thanksgiving Day
Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day in Canada, where I live.
I find myself reflecting on the profound journey that has brought me to this moment of gratitude.
There was a time in my life when I struggled to find anything to be thankful for. As a younger person, I felt adrift, disconnected, and, though I didn’t recognize it then, deeply depressed.
The world seemed a harsh and unforgiving place, and I couldn’t imagine how things could ever improve.
But as I stand here today, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
Life has a way of surprising us, doesn’t it?
The very challenges that once threatened to break me have become the foundation of my strength and resilience. Every adversity, every setback, every moment of pain has contributed to shaping the person I am today – someone who can truly appreciate the goodness and mystery of life.
Let me share with you three pivotal experiences that transformed my perspective:
First, as a child, I was mercilessly bullied in the earlier years of elementary school—spit at, mocked, and called racist names. My classmates targeted me for not speaking English and for looking “different” (there were few Asians back then). Those were dark days, filled with loneliness and a deep sense of not belonging.
But today, that painful experience has fueled my passion. I’ve become a fierce advocate for social justice and diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging.
Every time I speak up for someone who feels marginalized or work to create a more inclusive environment, I’m healing that scared, lonely child within me. I’m grateful for that.
Second, I grew up witnessing my parents’ conflictual and unhappy marriage. The tension in our home was palpable, and it shaped my understanding of relationships in ways I’m still uncovering. But that experience ignited a deep desire in me to understand healthy partnerships.
Today, I’m a marriage and family expert, dedicated to helping couples find their way back to each other. My own marriage has benefited immensely from this journey, and every couple I help is a testament to the power of transforming pain into purpose. I’m grateful for that.
Lastly, the detached and fearful relationship I had with my parents as a child left deep emotional scars. I never wanted my own children to feel that distance or fear.
Today, I’m blessed with a deeply close and connected relationship with all three of my children. Every hug, every open conversation, every shared laugh is a healing moment – not just for them, but for the child I once was. I’m grateful for that.
These experiences have taught me a profound truth: while we can’t change what has happened to us, we have the power to choose what we make of it.
Life will inevitably present us with challenges, disappointments, and pain. In those moments, we face a choice – to become bitter or to become better. I hope that by sharing my story, I can encourage you to choose the latter.
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring the difficult parts of life. It’s about recognizing that even our struggles can lead to growth, wisdom, and unexpected blessings. It’s about looking at our scars and seeing them not as reminders of pain, but as evidence of our incredible capacity to heal and transform.
This Thanksgiving, I invite you to reflect on your own journey. What challenges have shaped you? What painful experiences have led to unexpected growth? How have your struggles made you more compassionate, more resilient, more authentically you?
Let’s be thankful not just for the obvious blessings in our lives, but for the difficult path that has brought us to this moment. Let’s be grateful for our resilience, for our capacity to learn and grow, and for the beautiful, complex tapestry of experiences that make us who we are.
Let’s carry with us the knowledge that every experience – good or bad – has the potential to enrich our lives and the lives of those around us. That, my friends, is something truly worth being thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving!
