Family of Origin
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” This question, posed by poet Mary Oliver, resonates deeply in my heart. Each December, I pause to take inventory of my year, reflecting on this one wild and precious life of mine – the lessons learned, the moments lived, […]
Surviving Difficult Family Gatherings Every year, my friend “Jessica” and her son go on a cruise during Christmas. While others are hanging stockings and planning family dinners, she’s arranging her annual escape. When I asked her why, she smiled and said simply, “It’s better than pretending to enjoy time with people I’d rather not see.” […]
This topic always lands me in hot water, but frankly, I don’t care – because it’s one of the most common issues couples come to me for, especially during the holidays. I’m talking about the mental load, that invisible backpack of responsibilities that’s often silently crushing the holiday spirit of one partner while the other […]
Last week, I spoke about the challenge of excessive independence. Today, I want to explore another way many of us struggle in relationships: dependency. The first type of dependency often stems from our childhood experiences. Perhaps we had parents who, with the best intentions, did everything for us – making decisions, solving problems, protecting us […]
What impact does an emotionally distant and physically absent father have on daughters? Last week, I shared my reflections about its impact on sons. Today, I want to speak about its effect on daughters. (Men, if you have daughters, this one is for you too.) My own story begins with a little girl […]
Today is my father’s 80th birthday. So it got me thinking about my years growing up with him. Our relationship has always been cordial, but distant. My childhood memories are filled with an emotionally distant father who only showed one emotion…anger. I remember having silent dinners while he read the newspaper, and […]
Are you a negative person and not know it? Growing up, I always felt a knot in my stomach before talking to my parents. Don’t get me wrong – I loved them and think they did the best they could, but there was something about our communication when I was a kid that left me […]
Owning Our Story: A Personal Reflection One of my favourite quotes is from Dr. Brené Brown: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy–the experiences that […]
And transform your bonds There’s a saying in couples therapy that “we marry our unfinished business.” It is absolutely true. In my 26 years of working with couples, I have seen this repeatedly, without exception. What do I mean by this? I see couples who repeat relationship patterns, communication challenges, and conflict styles. The interesting […]
There’s a saying in couples therapy that “we marry our unfinished business.” It is absolutely true. In my 26 years of working with couples, I have seen this repeatedly, without exception. What do I mean by this? I see couples who repeat relationship patterns, communication challenges, and conflict styles. The interesting thing is, this is […]
And Learn to Love Well I still remember growing up, often hearing from my parents, insults and judgments like, “You are a terrible kid.” “You’re good for nothing.” “You’re so stupid.” “I wish I never had you.” As a child, criticism and shame were my constant companions, guests that overstayed their welcome throughout my childhood […]
It’s Not What You Think Twenty-six years ago, I stood at the altar, blissfully unaware of the challenging yet beautiful odyssey that lay ahead. Today, as I celebrate my 26th wedding anniversary, I’m struck by how much we’ve grown – not just as a couple, but as individuals. When we first met, like many couples, we […]
