Communication
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I’m here to tell you an uncomfortable truth: your relationship problems aren’t actually about your relationship—they’re mental health issues in disguise. While we’ve gotten better at talking about anxiety and depression, we’re still missing how deeply our mental health and relationship health are intertwined, each one silently shaping […]
I never knew what a healthy marriage looked like. I remember as a child, trying to pretend I didn’t hear the sounds of my parents fighting by staying in my bedroom. Or act like I wasn’t scared when I heard them yelling. What I never heard? Laughter. Warmth. The soft murmur of affection. When they […]
What’s the most common dynamic in couples? The pursuit-withdrawal dance. Here’s an example of what it looks like. Nicole stared at the closed bedroom door as Jordan’s words hung in the air: “I just need to be alone right now.” She had simply mentioned planning their vacation together, and somehow it had sparked their familiar […]
Do you remember where you were when the world shut down during COVID-19? I can’t believe it’s been five years, almost to the date when life as we knew it came to a screeching halt. What began as distant news reports quickly became our shared reality. Schools closed. Offices emptied. Travel plans evaporated overnight. My […]
Many couples wonder why their marriage never improves. A pivotal reason why is because of one toxic pattern that is destroying millions of relationships today. Triangulation. What is triangulation? Triangulation is when a two-person problem turns into a three-person power play. It occurs when one partner, typically struggling with emotional immaturity and poor communication skills, […]
Stop Fighting, Start Connecting. Here’s How. Do you keep fighting in circles with your partner? Here’s what I’ve seen every day over the last 26 years working with couples. One partner brings up an issue—perhaps about household responsibilities, emotional availability, or financial decisions. The other partner, instead of hearing the underlying need or concern, perceives […]
Do you keep fighting in circles with your partner? Here’s what I’ve seen every day over the last 26 years working with couples. One partner brings up an issue—perhaps about household responsibilities, emotional availability, or financial decisions. The other partner, instead of hearing the underlying need or concern, perceives an attack on their character or […]
Understanding and Healing Attachment Impact A few months ago, I embarked on my first solo trip with my mother. Despite our improved relationship as adults, I felt a flutter of anxiety in my chest. My mother, while loving, can be negative and critical – traits that coloured my childhood. Although the trip went well overall, […]
New Year’s goals don’t work. So stop setting them. Yes, we should all strive to improve ourselves – whether through personal growth, better health habits, career advancement, or stronger relationships. But setting goals just won’t cut it. By January 31st, I hear the same confessions in my office, year after year: “I thought this year […]
Last week, I spoke about the challenge of excessive independence. Today, I want to explore another way many of us struggle in relationships: dependency. The first type of dependency often stems from our childhood experiences. Perhaps we had parents who, with the best intentions, did everything for us – making decisions, solving problems, protecting us […]
What impact does an emotionally distant and physically absent father have on daughters? Last week, I shared my reflections about its impact on sons. Today, I want to speak about its effect on daughters. (Men, if you have daughters, this one is for you too.) My own story begins with a little girl […]
Are you a negative person and not know it? Growing up, I always felt a knot in my stomach before talking to my parents. Don’t get me wrong – I loved them and think they did the best they could, but there was something about our communication when I was a kid that left me […]
