Conflict Resolution
I’ve been thinking about some of the most common dynamics I see in couples. Here’s a big one: One partner does most of the work in the relationship (and family). And the other partner waits to be told what to do. And if their partner didn’t tell them what to do? Nothing would happen. No […]
After working with thousands of couples and individuals over the years, I’ve noticed something. Most people who have been through multiple relationships or marriages — almost always share the same thread. Different partners. Different circumstances. Different decades. But the same emotional experience, playing out again and again. Here’s an example. Let’s call him “James”. James […]
Today is my birthday. And as I age, each year I tend to become more nostalgic, like the character in the Disney movie, Inside Out 2, Nostalgia. She’s that soft, still voice that helps you reminisce about your past and remember what truly matters. I remember the best moments of my life. They aren’t the […]
When I first met my husband, Clark, I genuinely believed I had what it took to make a relationship work. I was self-aware enough to know I came from a difficult family. I’d read the books. I understood, intellectually at least, that healthy relationships required communication and compromise. How wrong I was. Because knowing about […]
Have you ever told yourself, “I’m never going to be like my parent”. But end up doing the same thing as them? This is one of the most common things I hear from my clients, just like “Sarah”. “I heard my mother’s voice come out of my mouth,” Sarah told me, her eyes welling up. […]
My client “Mark” lamented, “I love my family, but honestly? I’m kind of dreading Christmas with them.” Mark is successful at work. He’s a devoted husband and dad. But something changes when he spends time with his family of origin. He reverts to a child. “It’s not that anything terrible happens. It’s just… I become […]
What if I told you that your worst fight last week was actually a sacred invitation? After 32,000 clinical hours sitting across from couples in crisis, I’ve witnessed something profound. Marriage isn’t just a legal contract or romantic partnership—it’s a spiritual journey with a rhythm as natural as your heartbeat. Everything in life follows a […]
Do you ever feel like you are the only one trying in your relationship? You feel like you’re carrying the entire relationship on your shoulders. You’re the one suggesting date nights, starting difficult conversations, and doing all the emotional work. Meanwhile, your partner seems checked out or defensive every time you try to connect. You […]
Every morning, I wake up to dozens of messages and emails. “Dr. Gloria, my husband never listens to me anymore.” “We fight about the same things over and over.” “I feel like roommates, not lovers.” “I’m exhausted from walking on eggshells.” These messages are poured out with pain, frustration, and desperation. And here’s what breaks […]
“But that’s just how immigrant families are.” I hear this sentence a lot in my practice. And honestly? It angers me when I hear this. As the daughter of Chinese immigrants myself, I understand. I grew up thinking emotional distance was “cultural.” That parents working seven days a week and never talking about feelings was […]
My client “Maria” is a 48-year-old CEO managing 450 people. She’s built a million-dollar business from scratch. But when she visits her parents, she becomes that powerless eight-year-old girl again. Because your childhood home isn’t just a place. It’s a time machine that activates old survival patterns before you even realize what’s happening. When you […]
Today marks my 27th wedding anniversary. I can barely believe we made it this far. The odds were stacked against us. Divorce runs in my family. My parents’ marriage ended badly. Four of my five siblings got divorced too. My template for marriage was not good, to say the least. But here’s what I learned […]
