Conflict Resolution
My client “Maria” is a 48-year-old CEO managing 450 people. She’s built a million-dollar business from scratch. But when she visits her parents, she becomes that powerless eight-year-old girl again. Because your childhood home isn’t just a place. It’s a time machine that activates old survival patterns before you even realize what’s happening. When you […]
Today marks my 27th wedding anniversary. I can barely believe we made it this far. The odds were stacked against us. Divorce runs in my family. My parents’ marriage ended badly. Four of my five siblings got divorced too. My template for marriage was not good, to say the least. But here’s what I learned […]
In my 27 years of practice, there’s one dynamic I see more than almost any other—and it’s quietly suffocating even the strongest relationships. It starts innocently enough. One partner begins handling a few extra responsibilities. What begins as temporary support slowly becomes permanent management. Before they know it, one person is reminding their partner about […]
I did something my colleagues think is absolutely crazy. On April 1 (no joke), I fired myself as Clinical Director of the therapy clinic I built from the ground up over many years and handed over the practice to my associates. A thriving, well-oiled practice that practically runs itself. Cognitively, it makes zero sense. But […]
I’ll never forget the day “Faith” looked her husband straight in the eye and said, “I’m done.” The color drained from his face. Twenty-three years of marriage, and he was genuinely shocked. I wasn’t. For months, Faith had been telling me how her mother-in-law criticized everything. But here’s what broke her: Every single time her […]
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I’m here to tell you an uncomfortable truth: your relationship problems aren’t actually about your relationship—they’re mental health issues in disguise. While we’ve gotten better at talking about anxiety and depression, we’re still missing how deeply our mental health and relationship health are intertwined, each one silently shaping […]
I never knew what a healthy marriage looked like. I remember as a child, trying to pretend I didn’t hear the sounds of my parents fighting by staying in my bedroom. Or act like I wasn’t scared when I heard them yelling. What I never heard? Laughter. Warmth. The soft murmur of affection. When they […]
What’s the most common dynamic in couples? The pursuit-withdrawal dance. Here’s an example of what it looks like. Nicole stared at the closed bedroom door as Jordan’s words hung in the air: “I just need to be alone right now.” She had simply mentioned planning their vacation together, and somehow it had sparked their familiar […]
March 8th marks International Women’s Day, which always coincides with my mother’s birthday. This year, the celebration holds deeper meaning than ever before. The most significant woman in my life, for better or worse, has been my mother—shaping who I am in ways I’m still discovering. My mom has been my only consistent parent throughout […]
A Lesson in Becoming Truly Great There’s a profound difference between being successful and being impactful. This distinction became crystal clear to me through an experience with one of my former counseling psychology students—a lesson that continues to shape how I understand personal growth and professional development. The Lawyer Who Wanted to Heal As a […]
The Silent Relationship Killer I learned my most profound lesson about assumptions not in my therapy office, but in a quiet university classroom twenty years ago. It’s a story that still feels shameful when I think about it, but one that fundamentally changed how I view human nature and relationships. I was a teaching assistant […]
Stop Fighting, Start Connecting. Here’s How. Do you keep fighting in circles with your partner? Here’s what I’ve seen every day over the last 26 years working with couples. One partner brings up an issue—perhaps about household responsibilities, emotional availability, or financial decisions. The other partner, instead of hearing the underlying need or concern, perceives […]
