Self Development
As human beings, we are constantly shaped and influenced by our environment, experiences, and relationships. However, some of us carry the heavy burden of intergenerational trauma, passed down through generations like a dark inheritance. It can manifest in different ways, affecting our mental and emotional health, relationships, and overall well-being. But there is hope. You […]
Have you ever felt like there’s something standing in the way of true intimacy with your partner? Something that you just can’t seem to shake, no matter how hard you try? It’s possible that intergenerational trauma is to blame. As a therapist and relationship expert, I’ve seen firsthand how past experiences can negatively impact our […]
What’s your inner voice like? Do you find yourself constantly criticizing yourself? Do you feel like you’re never good enough? It’s time to break free from the chains of self-criticism and learn to love yourself. Self-criticism is a common experience for many individuals, and it often stems from childhood experiences. Parents, caregivers, and other authority […]
(This is part 5 of 5 in the Attachment Series. If you missed the others, you could find them on my this page) As human beings, we are wired for connection, yet not all connections are created equal. Some connections are nurturing and fulfilling, while others can be toxic and damaging. The quality of your […]
Why do we downplay childhood adversities? I often hear clients talk about very painful memories from their childhood. Things like, getting criticized, shamed, or hit by their parent, or being constantly bullied at school. Then the very next line is, “but that happens to everyone” or “that was the past and I’m over it now”, […]
I get to celebrate new year’s day twice every year. The first time is on January 1, and the second time…well, it depends. Chinese New Year or Lunar New Year (LNY) falls on a different day each year between January and February, depending on the lunar calendar. This year it is on January 22. As […]
As we ring in the new year and say goodbye to the previous one, I am reminded of the beginning and the end of the life cycle and how they are mirror images of one another. We come into this world crying, laying in a cradle, completely dependent on others for our basic needs, and […]
This is the time of year when many of us make new year’s resolutions, and improving our relationships is often at the top of the list. Whether it’s with your partner, children, parents, friends, or even yourself, it’s important to have a clear plan in place to make sure you follow through and succeed with […]
Reflection is one of the most powerful ways to gauge where your life is at and areas you need to grow in. And there’s no better time to reflect than at the end of the year. As we’re wrapping up 2022, here are 3 powerful questions you can ask yourself to successfully reflect on your […]
This week I had an epic fail with my son. My unhealthy attachment patterns from childhood showed up and our relationship got fractured. I was upset at his behaviour (he was neglecting his chores and responsibilities because he was out playing, and I had to pick up the slack) and instead of focusing on that, […]
Last week I examined how to know if you are in a codependent relationship. Several readers identified with being a people pleaser in a codependent relationship and asked how to work on this issue. I’m encouraged to hear your bravery in wanting to make positive changes in yourself and your relationship. The first step in […]
Do your negative thoughts create self-fulfilling prophecies in your relationship? Do you often think of the worst-case scenario that causes unnecessary worry? You are not alone in this. The human brain is designed to look out for danger and protect itself. Negative thinking is our default setting. Because of this evolutionary design, our negativity bias […]
