Healed & Healthy Relationships

Ready to Kick off the New Year with Stronger, Healthier Relationships?

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This is the time of year when many of us make new year’s resolutions, and improving our relationships is often at the top of the list. Whether it’s with your partner, children, parents, friends, or even yourself, it’s important to have a clear plan in place to make sure you follow through and succeed with your resolution.

Unfortunately, many of us try to make changes in our relationships but give up shortly after because we don’t have a clear plan on how to make it better. We end up feeling discouraged and defeated, and eventually stop trying.

To prevent this from happening, follow these proven strategies to successfully renew your connections and revitalize your bonds in the new year:

1.     Keep the focus on yourself

When you focus on your own actions and behaviours, you can better understand how you contribute to the unhealthy dynamics in your relationships. This can help you identify what changes you need to make in yourself to encourage positive change in the other person.

For example, if you constantly get into a power struggle with your kid for not cleaning their room, consider what you do to prevent them from cleaning.

Do you enable poor behaviour by cleaning their room for them when they don’t do it? Do you nag and complain too much, so they’ve learned to tune you out? Are you too demanding and controlling, causing your child to rebel?

These are all things to consider when focusing on yourself and making positive changes.

2.     Focus on the positives

People are more motivated to change when they feel good about themselves, so it’s important to focus on the positive aspects of what you want to see changed or improved. Instead of complaining about what you don’t have, ask for what you need in a way that is positive and affirming. When the other person starts doing what you’ve asked, be sure to praise and appreciate their efforts.

For example, if you want your partner to do more housework, instead of complaining about what they don’t do, say something like, “I’d like for you to do the dishes every night after dinner without me having to ask you to do so. How can we make this happen?”

When your partner steps up and starts doing what you’ve asked, be sure to appreciate and affirm the positive changes. Look for opportunities to praise them. We are all motivated by positive reinforcement. When people feel better, they naturally want to do better.

3.     Know your boundaries and keep them

We often get angry or upset when someone violates our boundaries. When this happens, it can be easy to focus on their poor behaviour. Instead, it’s important to focus on your own boundaries and why you allowed them to be crossed. By setting and maintaining clear boundaries, you can create a healthier and more respectful dynamic in your relationships.

For example, if your parent often says unkind things and hurts your feelings, instead of getting angry and focusing on their poor behaviour, ask yourself how and why you’ve allowed them to violate your boundaries.

Maybe you don’t speak up for yourself because you don’t want to cause conflict, or you’re afraid of their reaction. By understanding and setting boundaries, you can create a more positive and respectful relationship with the other party. Remember, healthy boundaries make for healthy relationships.

By following these strategies, you can successfully renew your relationships in the new year and create stronger, healthier connections with the people you care about.

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