Self Development
Starting with What Matters Most I’m reminded of a powerful story that perfectly captures how to approach the new year. A professor brought an empty jar to his class and placed it on his desk alongside three items: sand, pebbles, and large rocks. He asked his students to fill the jar with all three items. […]
New Year’s goals don’t work. So stop setting them. Yes, we should all strive to improve ourselves – whether through personal growth, better health habits, career advancement, or stronger relationships. But setting goals just won’t cut it. By January 31st, I hear the same confessions in my office, year after year: “I thought this year […]
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” This question, posed by poet Mary Oliver, resonates deeply in my heart. Each December, I pause to take inventory of my year, reflecting on this one wild and precious life of mine – the lessons learned, the moments lived, […]
This year, I attended seven funerals. All of them were for my friends’ parents. As a relationship expert, I couldn’t help but notice something profound – something that would forever change how I understand human connection. What struck me wasn’t just the services themselves, but the stark difference in how people grieved. Through these experiences, […]
Last week, I spoke about the challenge of excessive independence. Today, I want to explore another way many of us struggle in relationships: dependency. The first type of dependency often stems from our childhood experiences. Perhaps we had parents who, with the best intentions, did everything for us – making decisions, solving problems, protecting us […]
Reflections on Canadian Thanksgiving Day Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day in Canada, where I live. I find myself reflecting on the profound journey that has brought me to this moment of gratitude. There was a time in my life when I struggled to find anything to be thankful for. As a younger person, I felt adrift, […]
Then Don’t Focus on Communication For over 26 years, every couple I’ve worked with started the first session with the same request… “We want to know how to communicate better to stop fighting and get along.” And for 26 years, I’ve been discouraging couples from solely focusing on their communication skills to end their cycle […]
And Learn to Love Well I still remember growing up, often hearing from my parents, insults and judgments like, “You are a terrible kid.” “You’re good for nothing.” “You’re so stupid.” “I wish I never had you.” As a child, criticism and shame were my constant companions, guests that overstayed their welcome throughout my childhood […]
And it’s really not that hard Do you find yourself replaying the same painful scenarios in your relationships, feeling powerless to change the outcome? Are you and your partner stuck in a loop of misunderstandings and resentment that feels impossible to escape? These patterns can be deeply isolating, creating a barrier to the love and […]
Happy Lunar New Year Every year in mid-January, I Google search “when is Lunar New Year 202_?” And I set aside that day to celebrate with family. This tradition of celebration started from as young as I can remember. Eating certain foods, attending special festivities, and the best part, receiving lucky money in red envelopes. […]
And blessing to you Today is my birthday. It’s a funny thing that the older I get, the less desire I have to celebrate, but the more I long to contemplate. I contemplate how there are more years behind me than before me, and how to live my best life for the remaining years. I […]
You might and not even know it. Do you have a loved one (e.g., partner, parent, friend, family member) who does or says things to you that you don’t like, but you don’t do anything about it? Do you excuse their poor behaviour by saying things like, “Sometimes you have to look beyond the behaviour […]
