Family of Origin
I never knew what a healthy marriage looked like. I remember as a child, trying to pretend I didn’t hear the sounds of my parents fighting by staying in my bedroom. Or act like I wasn’t scared when I heard them yelling. What I never heard? Laughter. Warmth. The soft murmur of affection. When they […]
I remember when Mark and Sarah (not their real names) walked into my office, their shoulders heavy with 23 years of unresolved conflicts. They sat on opposite ends of my couch—a physical representation of the emotional distance between them. “Why now?” I asked gently. “What made you decide to come in after all these years?” […]
Do you remember where you were when the world shut down during COVID-19? I can’t believe it’s been five years, almost to the date when life as we knew it came to a screeching halt. What began as distant news reports quickly became our shared reality. Schools closed. Offices emptied. Travel plans evaporated overnight. My […]
March 8th marks International Women’s Day, which always coincides with my mother’s birthday. This year, the celebration holds deeper meaning than ever before. The most significant woman in my life, for better or worse, has been my mother—shaping who I am in ways I’m still discovering. My mom has been my only consistent parent throughout […]
Living Eulogies of Love Yesterday was my birthday. It’s always a day of deep reflection for me, and this year I found myself contemplating how my perspective on birthday celebrations has evolved over the years – not just personally, but through the lens of my work with individuals, couples, and families, and understanding of human […]
Understanding and Healing Attachment Impact A few months ago, I embarked on my first solo trip with my mother. Despite our improved relationship as adults, I felt a flutter of anxiety in my chest. My mother, while loving, can be negative and critical – traits that coloured my childhood. Although the trip went well overall, […]
Last week, in the pouring rain, I witnessed something that shook me to my core. Through the darkness, a crowd gathered around a fallen motorcycle. As I approached, I saw her – an Asian woman, her leg pinned beneath her bike. What struck me wasn’t just the accident, but what happened next. As people rushed […]
New Year’s goals don’t work. So stop setting them. Yes, we should all strive to improve ourselves – whether through personal growth, better health habits, career advancement, or stronger relationships. But setting goals just won’t cut it. By January 31st, I hear the same confessions in my office, year after year: “I thought this year […]
This year, I attended seven funerals. All of them were for my friends’ parents. As a relationship expert, I couldn’t help but notice something profound – something that would forever change how I understand human connection. What struck me wasn’t just the services themselves, but the stark difference in how people grieved. Through these experiences, […]
Last week, I spoke about the challenge of excessive independence. Today, I want to explore another way many of us struggle in relationships: dependency. The first type of dependency often stems from our childhood experiences. Perhaps we had parents who, with the best intentions, did everything for us – making decisions, solving problems, protecting us […]
I have a confession to make. I like being alone. I like doing things alone. I prefer not to talk to other people. I’d rather read a book or take a walk in nature. I know how ironic this sounds as a relationship expert who advocates healthy attachment and spends over a thousand hours each […]
During the haunting emptiness of the COVID lockdown, I encountered a profound lesson about human connection in the most unexpected place – the lobby of my office building. While most of the city remained shut down, I was among the few who ventured back to work after restrictions eased. There, I met (let’s call him) […]
