Getting professional help from a therapist may be one of the most important steps to take if you’re feeling that your relationship is in trouble. Unfortunately, most of my clients want a quick fix solution to their presenting concerns. This is why they come see a therapist…to get answers for their problems. When I refuse to provide a quick fix, clients would look annoyed that I won’t just tell them what to do.
My response is always the same, “Do you want me to give you what you WANT or what you NEED?”
Most people reluctantly default to the latter but with disappointment and sometimes, disapproval that I’m clinically not skilled enough to solve their problems right away. Being the rebel that I am, I kindly offer them to see another a therapist who is good at giving quick fixes. I even provide referrals.
But for those who stay, the changes they make are profound and lifelong. They receive what they NEED, not what they WANT. That is, deep internal transformation that creates lasting healthy changes.
When you change from the inside out (not just a quick surface fix), this internal shift adjusts the trajectory of everything that follows.
For instance, when you transform your negative beliefs about yourself, you automatically have more positive thoughts. From these positive thoughts come a healthy self-concept, which in turn develops into positive feelings about yourself. When you feel good about yourself, you naturally make healthier choices, which then leads to greater satisfaction, joy, and contentment in every area of your life.
In other words, this deep internal transformation produces profound and lasting changes. It may take a bit longer than a quick fix, but real maturity and growth takes time.
Therefore, I encourage you to be patient with yourself and the process. Lean into your personal development and you will never regret it.
