Relationship Tips
I never knew what a healthy marriage looked like. I remember as a child, trying to pretend I didn’t hear the sounds of my parents fighting by staying in my bedroom. Or act like I wasn’t scared when I heard them yelling. What I never heard? Laughter. Warmth. The soft murmur of affection. When they […]
What’s the most common dynamic in couples? The pursuit-withdrawal dance. Here’s an example of what it looks like. Nicole stared at the closed bedroom door as Jordan’s words hung in the air: “I just need to be alone right now.” She had simply mentioned planning their vacation together, and somehow it had sparked their familiar […]
The Key to Happiness & Health I’m writing this from a hospital chair where I’ve spent the last seven days. My son was admitted with a collapsed lung, requiring surgery. Thankfully, he’s recovering well now. But during this unexpected pause in life’s usual rhythm, I’ve learned something profound about connection, happiness, and health. My son […]
Do you remember where you were when the world shut down during COVID-19? I can’t believe it’s been five years, almost to the date when life as we knew it came to a screeching halt. What began as distant news reports quickly became our shared reality. Schools closed. Offices emptied. Travel plans evaporated overnight. My […]
A Lesson in Becoming Truly Great There’s a profound difference between being successful and being impactful. This distinction became crystal clear to me through an experience with one of my former counseling psychology students—a lesson that continues to shape how I understand personal growth and professional development. The Lawyer Who Wanted to Heal As a […]
The Silent Relationship Killer I learned my most profound lesson about assumptions not in my therapy office, but in a quiet university classroom twenty years ago. It’s a story that still feels shameful when I think about it, but one that fundamentally changed how I view human nature and relationships. I was a teaching assistant […]
Why Your Marriage Never Improves Many couples wonder why their marriage never improves. A pivotal reason why is because of one toxic pattern that is destroying millions of relationships today. Triangulation. What is triangulation? Triangulation is when a two-person problem turns into a three-person power play. It occurs when one partner, typically struggling with emotional […]
Stop Fighting, Start Connecting. Here’s How. Do you keep fighting in circles with your partner? Here’s what I’ve seen every day over the last 26 years working with couples. One partner brings up an issue—perhaps about household responsibilities, emotional availability, or financial decisions. The other partner, instead of hearing the underlying need or concern, perceives […]
My friend decided to end her marriage on Valentine’s Day. As she sat across from her husband at their usual February 14th dinner, surrounded by roses and chocolate, she knew it would be their last celebration together. The grand gesture felt hollow, almost painful. Because in the 364 days between these annual displays of affection, […]
Living Eulogies of Love Yesterday was my birthday. It’s always a day of deep reflection for me, and this year I found myself contemplating how my perspective on birthday celebrations has evolved over the years – not just personally, but through the lens of my work with individuals, couples, and families, and understanding of human […]
Starting with What Matters Most I’m reminded of a powerful story that perfectly captures how to approach the new year. A professor brought an empty jar to his class and placed it on his desk alongside three items: sand, pebbles, and large rocks. He asked his students to fill the jar with all three items. […]
New Year’s goals don’t work. So stop setting them. Yes, we should all strive to improve ourselves – whether through personal growth, better health habits, career advancement, or stronger relationships. But setting goals just won’t cut it. By January 31st, I hear the same confessions in my office, year after year: “I thought this year […]
