Unlearning Myths

When I reflect on my life, I realize there were many things I thought I had right but was completely mistaken about.

For instance, I used to believe that never saying “no” and always agreeing with others made me kind and well-liked. In reality, it often led to resentment and burnout because I neglected my own needs.

Another misconception was my pursuit of perfection. I thought that striving for flawlessness was the key to success and respect. Instead, it caused immense stress and made me hypercritical of myself and others, ultimately damaging my self-esteem and relationships.

More subtly, I held onto beliefs and habits that I thought were “normal” or even “good,” but they were far from it. Here are some examples:

I confused people pleasing with being kind

I thought perfectionism was excellence

I believed avoiding conflict was being peaceful

I understood suppressing my feelings as being the bigger person

I rationalized hiding my needs so I could look strong and independent on the outside

I assumed control meant safety and security

I considered productivity as self-worth

And this is the case for many of us who come from homes where our approval and acceptance were based on externals such as what we do, what we achieve, how we perform, how we compare, who we know, and what we have.

Often, this mindset carries forward into our adult lives. We only feel worthy or good enough when others think we’re good enough… or at least we think that others think we’re good enough. Read that again.

So my hope for you, my friends, is that you would challenge yourself in how you define your worthiness. Is it based on external achievements, accolades, and approval or internal inherent worth that can never be earned or taken away?