Trauma
I remember when Mark and Sarah (not their real names) walked into my office, their shoulders heavy with 23 years of unresolved conflicts. They sat on opposite ends of my couch—a physical representation of the emotional distance between them. “Why now?” I asked gently. “What made you decide to come in after all these years?” […]
Understanding and Healing Attachment Impact A few months ago, I embarked on my first solo trip with my mother. Despite our improved relationship as adults, I felt a flutter of anxiety in my chest. My mother, while loving, can be negative and critical – traits that coloured my childhood. Although the trip went well overall, […]
The Hidden Gift in LA’s Devastating Fires This week, Los Angeles residents watched helplessly as wildfires devoured homes, businesses, and decades of memories. The devastation is hard to comprehend—entire neighborhoods reduced to ash, families displaced, and lives forever altered in mere hours. The numbers tell one story, but behind each statistic is a human being […]
I have a confession to make. I like being alone. I like doing things alone. I prefer not to talk to other people. I’d rather read a book or take a walk in nature. I know how ironic this sounds as a relationship expert who advocates healthy attachment and spends over a thousand hours each […]
During the haunting emptiness of the COVID lockdown, I encountered a profound lesson about human connection in the most unexpected place – the lobby of my office building. While most of the city remained shut down, I was among the few who ventured back to work after restrictions eased. There, I met (let’s call him) […]
What impact does an emotionally distant and physically absent father have on daughters? Last week, I shared my reflections about its impact on sons. Today, I want to speak about its effect on daughters. (Men, if you have daughters, this one is for you too.) My own story begins with a little girl […]
Are you a negative person and not know it? Growing up, I always felt a knot in my stomach before talking to my parents. Don’t get me wrong – I loved them and think they did the best they could, but there was something about our communication when I was a kid that left me […]
Owning Our Story: A Personal Reflection One of my favourite quotes is from Dr. Brené Brown: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy–the experiences that […]
Is It Possible? There’s a question that I keep getting asked over the decades when helping couples. It is one of the most challenging and loaded questions. It’s also a question that is tender to me because it reminds me of one of the main reasons why my parents’ marriage failed… How do I move […]
A Lesson in Human Connection This week, I found myself in New York City on the anniversary of 9/11. The experience was surreal, bringing back memories from 23 years ago when I last visited the Twin Towers—massive, tall, grand, and majestic. Then and Now I vividly recall ascending to the 107th floor observation deck, feeling […]
Transforming Past Hurts Into Secure Connections Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons, sometimes through the most unexpected – and occasionally unpleasant – experiences. Here’s mine… Believe it or not, I’ve had the dubious honour of being pooped on my head by a bird twice in my lifetime. Once this week, and once […]
And How You Might Be One of Them People in unhappy and unhealthy relationships get sick much more often than those in happy and healthy relationships. This is because animosity, arguments, and discord create stress. And when we are stressed, our brain produces cortisol, the stress hormone. We all need a bit of cortisol for […]
