Trauma
Surviving Difficult Family Gatherings Every year, my friend “Jessica” and her son go on a cruise during Christmas. While others are hanging stockings and planning family dinners, she’s arranging her annual escape. When I asked her why, she smiled and said simply, “It’s better than pretending to enjoy time with people I’d rather not see.” […]
Today is my father’s 80th birthday. So it got me thinking about my years growing up with him. Our relationship has always been cordial, but distant. My childhood memories are filled with an emotionally distant father who only showed one emotion…anger. I remember having silent dinners while he read the newspaper, and […]
Owning Our Story: A Personal Reflection One of my favourite quotes is from Dr. Brené Brown: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy–the experiences that […]
From Bitter to Sweet Part 1: The Bitter I remember growing up dreading Mother’s Day. I had a tumultuous relationship with my mom and the last thing I wanted to do was to celebrate her. Every Hallmark card I read felt insincere. “Thanks for being a great mom.” “You’ve always been there for me.” or […]
How to have a healthy relationship Is there hope for change if you’re in an unhealthy relationship? You may be at the end of your rope. You’ve tried talking things out with your partner, reading self-help books on relationships, and even attending counselling, but only to get the same result…the status quo. Most people try […]
How Childhood Emotional Neglect Influences Adult Attachment Styles Were you abused in childhood and don’t even know it? Most of us are aware of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and even verbal abuse. But the most “neglected” type of abuse is emotional neglect. It is defined as a relationship pattern in which a child’s emotional needs […]
I’ve been thinking about scars this week. Two years ago on April 1, in the height of the pandemic I had hip replacement surgery. I woke up with 50 staples holding the two sides of my hip together. At first, nobody knew about my surgery, except for my “bubble”. It was the perfect time to […]
Why do we downplay childhood adversities? I often hear clients talk about very painful memories from their childhood. Things like, getting criticized, shamed, or hit by their parent, or being constantly bullied at school. Then the very next line is, “but that happens to everyone” or “that was the past and I’m over it now”, […]
Over two weeks ago, we learned the sad news about the passing of Stephen “tWitch” Boss, the DJ of the Ellen DeGeneres Show. He allegedly took his own life. He was 40 years old and leaves behind his wife and three children. I reflect back on all the famous people who have taken their own […]
Affairs is a topic that I often deal with in therapy. It is one of the hardest topics to tackle and takes a lot of sensitivity and care to navigate. Even defining an affair is difficult. Some believe it must involve sex to be an affair, whereas others think viewing porn (with masturbation) is a […]
