Marriage
Here’s a dose of reality. The couple sitting across from me in my counseling office? They didn’t fall out of love overnight. They did it slowly, quietly, invisibly — one ignored moment, one swallowed feeling, one I’m fine at a time. Until one day, fine became the most devastating word in their vocabulary. By the […]
I’ve been thinking about some of the most common dynamics I see in couples. Here’s a big one: One partner does most of the work in the relationship (and family). And the other partner waits to be told what to do. And if their partner didn’t tell them what to do? Nothing would happen. No […]
This week, my eldest turns 24. I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. Sixteen hours of labour, with hours and hours of pushing until I couldn’t push anymore. Then the doctor just… suctioned him out. (Honestly? I’m still wondering why she didn’t do that 16 hours earlier.) But the moment the […]
Today is my birthday. And as I age, each year I tend to become more nostalgic, like the character in the Disney movie, Inside Out 2, Nostalgia. She’s that soft, still voice that helps you reminisce about your past and remember what truly matters. I remember the best moments of my life. They aren’t the […]
Every December, I do the same thing. I sit down in a quiet place, pour myself a cup of tea, and ask: What were the highs and lows of this year? It’s a ritual I started years ago, and every single time, the pattern is the same. The highs? They’re never about the big achievements […]
Last time I wrote to you, I was sitting in a hospital cafeteria in Hong Kong, running on adrenaline and coffee. Today? I’m writing from 35,000 feet in the air. My son and I are flying home for the holidays! You know what I realized somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, watching my son finally sleep […]
Why are more and more women opting out of marriage? It’s a question I’ve been pondering lately. Because in nearly three decades of working with couples, I’ve watched this shift happen in real time. The Silver Splitters A woman walked into my office last month. Let’s call her Margaret. Sixty-two. Married thirty-seven years. And she […]
My son was walking home from school last week when a neighbor stopped him on the sidewalk. The man called my son over and said: “Hey kid, let me tell you something. Never get married. I’m saving you from a lot of grief. Trust me, it’s not worth it.” My son came home and told […]
You’re lying in bed next to someone who feels like a stranger. You wonder: Would I be happier with someone else? Here’s what I’m about to tell you after 27 years: Starting over is usually the biggest mistake you could make. Unless there’s abuse involved, walking away is rarely the solution you think it is. […]
I’ll never forget the moment I realized I’d spent my entire life lying. Not the kind of lies you tell to hurt people. The subtle ones. The “I’m fine” when I wasn’t. The “whatever you want” when I had my own opinion. The silent swallowing of hurt feelings, disappointment, and resentment—all wrapped in a smile. […]
What if I told you that your worst fight last week was actually a sacred invitation? After 32,000 clinical hours sitting across from couples in crisis, I’ve witnessed something profound. Marriage isn’t just a legal contract or romantic partnership—it’s a spiritual journey with a rhythm as natural as your heartbeat. Everything in life follows a […]
Have you ever looked across the dinner table at your spouse and felt like you were sitting with a stranger? Not an enemy—that would almost be easier—but someone so distant they might as well be invisible? Last week, a woman sat in my office describing her marriage with devastating clarity: “We’re like two zombies living […]
