Which takes less trying
How do you love well?
Is it by convincing yourself to keep loving someone…even when you don’t feel it?
Is it by “speaking” their love language so they feel loved?
Or is it by doing more, so the love doesn’t fade over time?
All of the above may help but are often insufficient. Why?
Because loving well is not about trying harder.
When we try harder to love well, we often take the difficult route of usurping enormous energy and effort to execute and maintain love, which is unsustainable, like a fad diet. This is why most people stop trying.
So how do you love well without having to try harder?
Simply by not trying harder but being better at love. How?
By practicing courage.
Courage allows you to be vulnerable and open, so you can be deeply seen and known by another human being.
Courage guides you to trust with your whole heart, without holding back.
Courage teaches you to get up again after your heart breaks and learn to love once more.
Courage helps you to love and be loved, despite knowing nothing of the sort in your upbringing.
Courage reminds you to accept hurt and disappointment as inevitable parts of imperfect human relationships, as we muddle our way through life together.
Courage fuels you to love fully today, with the knowledge that this love will surely end and be replaced by grief one day.
To love well means to be more courageous at being courageous in love. Read that again.
May you find the courage today to love wholeheartedly, and to feel fully alive, authentic, and fulfilled in all your relationships.
