Life’s Greatest Teachers: Joy and Sorrow

How Connections Shape our Greatest Life Lessons

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote lately from one of my mentors (from afar), the great grief therapist and pioneer, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross:

If you go and dance at a lot of weddings, you will cry at a lot of funerals.

If you were at the beginning of many moments, you will be there when they end.

If you have a lot of friends, you will experience that many break ups.

If you think that the loss you feel is great, it’s because you’ve attempted that many things in your life.

If you made a lot of mistakes, it’s better than having lived without doing anything at all.

It is not unhappiness to be unable to reach a star, unhappiness is that you don’t have a star that you cannot reach.

This quote reminds me to live my best life today and focus on what’s most important, namely relationships. Here’s why.

Life isn’t always pretty. We’ve all been there – smiling with joy at the birth of a child, then months or years later, crying at the funeral of a loved one. It’s a package deal, this life of ours.

I remember the day my niece (the first grandchild in the family) was born. The whole family was there, crowded into the hospital room, our hearts so full of love and hope for this new little life.

Then, just a few years ago, I held my 40-year-old cousin’s hand as the doctors took her off life support.

The contrast was stark, but both moments were equally profound, equally part of the tapestry of life.

To appreciate the greatest joys in life, you often have to go through the depths of suffering and loss.

It’s a hard truth, but an important one. The pain of losing someone we love carves deep channels in our hearts, but these same channels allow us to experience love and happiness more profoundly.

Kübler-Ross is spot on when she says, “If you have a lot of friends, you will experience that many break ups.”

It’s true, isn’t it? The more we open our hearts, the more we risk getting hurt. But here’s the thing – that risk is worth it. Why?

Because every friendship, and every relationship, shapes us. They teach us about love, about ourselves, about what we want in life.

But the part of this quote that really stands out is this: “It is not unhappiness to be unable to reach a star, unhappiness is that you don’t have a star that you cannot reach.”

This speaks directly to our dreams and aspirations. Think about it – what are your stars?

Maybe it’s a vision of a more fulfilling relationship, a deeper connection with yourself, or a future where you feel truly content and at peace.

These dreams, these stars, they’re not just idle fantasies. They’re the fuel that keeps us moving forward, even when life gets tough.

They’re the whisper of hope when everything seems dark. Maybe you’re dreaming of healing a broken relationship, or finding the courage to start a new one. Perhaps your star is learning to love yourself more fully, to treat yourself with the kindness and respect you deserve.

Whatever your star is, know that its very existence in your heart is a beautiful thing. It is the guiding light, the aspiration that pulls you forward and helps you grow.

So here’s what I think: Life is messy. It’s full of ups and downs, joys and sorrows. But that’s what makes it beautiful.

Every tear we shed is proof that we cared deeply. Every broken heart shows that we had the courage to love.

Because in the end, it’s not about avoiding pain or always being happy. It’s about living fully, loving deeply, and always, always having a star to reach for.

To help you do this, I’m offering 6 spots in my small group coaching program, the Relationship Mastery Accelerator starting this September, that is focused on helping you reach your relationship star.

Whether you’re looking to improve your current relationship, heal from past hurts, or prepare for future connections, this program is designed to give you the tools and support you need.

The waitlist for this transformative experience starts now.

Remember, your journey to better relationships starts with a single step. I can’t wait to walk this path with you, through all of life’s joys and sorrows, as we reach for our stars together. Join today.