Living Eulogies of Love
Yesterday was my birthday. It’s always a day of deep reflection for me, and this year I found myself contemplating how my perspective on birthday celebrations has evolved over the years – not just personally, but through the lens of my work with individuals, couples, and families, and understanding of human connection.
As a child, birthdays were all about the tangible excitement: the parties, the gifts, the cake, and that magical feeling of being the center of attention.
Those childhood celebrations were simple in their joy, yet complex in how they shaped our early understanding of love and recognition.
The teenage years brought a shift. Suddenly, birthdays became about social connection – hanging out with friends, creating memories, and finding our place in our expanding world.
Looking back now, I recognize how this mirrored our developmental need for peer acceptance and belonging.
But the most profound shift has come with maturity, both personal and professional.
I’ve come to understand that birthdays aren’t really about us at all – they’re about others.
They’re precious opportunities for people to celebrate our existence in their lives, to express their love and gratitude.
In a way, birthdays serve as a living eulogy – a chance to share our appreciation for each other while we’re here to receive it.
This revelation has transformed how I think about celebration itself. As I mark another year around the sun, I find myself filled not with thoughts of what I’ll receive, but with deep gratitude for those who make my life – and indeed my birthday – truly “happy.”
Because happiness, I’ve learned, is inextricably linked to how much joy we bring to others. There’s no greater gift than knowing we’ve touched someone’s life in a meaningful way.
Perhaps this is the greatest lesson birthdays have taught me: why wait for annual celebrations or, more somberly, funerals, to express what others mean to us?
Every day offers an opportunity to celebrate the people in our lives, to acknowledge the precious gift of time we share, and to nurture the connections that give our lives meaning.
As both a relationship expert and a fellow human on this journey, I encourage you to carry the birthday spirit with you throughout the year.
Let’s not wait for special occasions to express our love, gratitude, and appreciation. Every day we have with each other is worth celebrating.
The true joy of birthdays lies not in the candles, cards, or celebrations, but in the reminder that our lives are intertwined with others in beautiful and meaningful ways. And that’s something worth celebrating every single day.
Thanks for making my birthday happy.
