And It’s Simple and Quick
Are you tired of the endless cycles of fights between you and your partner where you end up feeling angry, deflated, and hopeless? Do you wish you could just stop fighting?
Here’s one simple way to quickly defuse a situation before it escalates into a fight.
Listen to Your Partner
This is easier said than done. Just shut up and don’t say anything. It doesn’t mean that you tune out your partner. Rather, you tune IN to what they are really trying to say.
You will have to block out the running narrative in your head. Instead, be curious about what your partner is saying. Don’t interpret their words with your own narrative.
One reason why fights start in the first place is because partners don’t listen. Partners tell each other what the other is saying through their own interpretation of the facts presented rather than taking the spoken words at face value.
This angers your partner because they don’t feel listened to. When your partner becomes triggered, they start to interrupt, get defensive, and justify their position. Then a fight erupts.
Both people start to feel invalidated, hurt, and flooded. The conflict escalates and the fight continues until both people are exhausted. But there is no resolution, just deflation.
If you want different results, DO something different. Simply be quiet and listen. Pay attention and really listen. Don’t interrupt, interpret, or invalidate your partner. Notice the noise in your head. The harder it is to listen, the more you need to practice.
Try this and you just might get better results.