Resentment is one of the most corrosive emotions in relationships. It builds slowly, often beneath the surface, until it erupts in ways that surprise even us.
But where does resentment come from? In my experience working with clients, resentment almost always traces back to two things: people pleasing and poor boundaries.
When we say yes when we mean no, when we put others’ needs consistently before our own, when we avoid conflict at all costs—we create a breeding ground for resentment.
The irony is that people pleasers often believe they’re being kind and selfless. But over time, the accumulated weight of unmet needs and unexpressed feelings turns into bitterness toward the very people they were trying to please.
The antidote? Learning to set healthy boundaries—not as walls to keep people out, but as guidelines that honour both your needs and the relationship.
